Sunday, August 31, 2025

Workout Routine Change

 Not a traditional sense of a story but a story none of the less. Realizing I need to workout back muscles more; here is the plan.

Sunday (Back day)

Incline Dumbbell rows 4 sets 10 reps 50 LBS dumbbells

Lat pulldown 4 sets 10 reps 50 LBS

Row machine 4 sets 10 reps 50 LBS

Farmer walk 140 LBS (go as long as possible)

Monday (upper body)

40 Pushups 45 LBS (on back)

Bench Press 135 set 1 (10 reps), 155 set 2 (10 reps), 185 set 3 (as many as possible)

Or

Military press instead of Bench press

Farmer walk 140 LBS (go as long as possible)

Tuesday

Rest or cardio

Wensday

Dumbbell squat 3 sets 140 LBS

Front squat set 1 85 LBS 15 reps set 2 125 LBS 10 reps

thursday

rest or any

Friday

Legs

Saturday

Back

Need to complete workout plan/ might change

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Work over my Son and now I had paid the price

     Many of you probably want me to go to hell but I can explain; my hours of work mounting and had to work myself to death for my son. Don't get me wrong; my HVAC job had the pay being good at first but prices going up, more work on my plate and needing to do what I can to help him. My wife and I are divorced; you can guess as of why. She got lonely and cheated on me while I'd been working.

    Thankfully; he is in my care or was; at first he was talking to people online to some people and to me seemed fine with him talking to kids his age. At first nothing seemed wrong but my son seemed to be avoidant, looking around when I entered the room and stopping what he was doing. With me looking at his search history; my heart sank seeing what was sent to him. With alerting his mother about taking away his electronics and making sure to lock up the computer unless we were both in the room. Even making sure to take it to the room with me.

    He's only 9 and shouldn't be looking up the kind of content he is; however I'm unable to keep an eye on him and his mother? Who knows if she is looking at what he's looking over or not. We both have two different parenting styles; she was beautiful but we were horrible for one another and a part of me regrets having my son, not being able to provide the stable life he deserves. One day everything is fine; nothing really going wrong, a fight or two then next turn around the corner you have your life pulled out from under your feet. I'm dragging the point out about my son but honestly a part of me can't face reality.

    I've made efforts and attempts to teach him stranger danger; the fact of strangers talking those things with him made me disgusted. The chat logs of them going back and forth with the stranger asking him how his day was, at first innocent but slowly changed as the two got to know one another. The chat logs made me disgusted, imagine trying to pump down an AC unit under pressure while reading the chat logs; my stomach twisted in knots, the conversation again innocent with asking, "hey how was school." and asking about me, not wanting to get into those. All I can tell you is reading the chat messages about me made my heart break.

    Oh and yes I'm spying on my son while he's at his mother's. I'm needing to keep an eye or attempt to then I'll do so. The last thing he needs is to have pornographic material sent to him by strangers he met in an online game again. After seeing this, when picking him up from his mother's we have a talk with me trying to urge him to heed my warnings and listen to me but it falls on deaf ears. That talking to a wall would be easier than this.

    He responds, "mom said you're not in charge of me while I'm at her place." My heart breaks even further hearing this.

    I plead with him, "I love is why I care that you are talking to strangers; I don't want anyone hurting you." The next week I'm at a different place doing a brazing job; getting some copper pipes for the system together; after getting done with the brazing of the pipe and running nitrogen through the system I'm quickly checking the phone to see my son and the stranger are planning to meet up. I'm quick to call my ex with her not picking up, quickly stop running nitrogen through the system, leaving my worksite the way it is; leave my boss a message with me jumping into my work van speeding down the road with me calling the police to meet me at the location. A cop speeding on by goes by me towards the neighborhood the two are going to meet. However once I'm at the scene my stomach drops with my face going white as I see my son's favorite stuff Teddy bear. The tears that burn my face.

    Every part of me wishing I'd done more; asking myself what I could've done different, an amber alert is sent out with the police helping out to find him with me giving photos of him just any and all chat logs. As the days pass by me; restless but still working, needing something to keep my mind off of what I'd gone through with everything until I'm going on my son's account to message the stranger.

    The stranger messages me back an image of my son hung by chains with each part of his body chained and hooked. At the jobsite puking on the customer's carpet. They come in to yell at me until they join me in letting their lunch out once they see what I'm seeing. The photo turned over to the police with more photos sent to the police, taunting them as they're powerless to help me find the sick fuck.

Sunday, August 10, 2025

It Followed me Through the Woods

     What the hell was I thinking going through those woods? That thing is still outside whistling to me; by morning it's gone but at night? It comes back to my place. I should probably start from the beginning. After a long shift at work getting back home from working the warehouse job. However; my car broke down and I couldn't get a ride home, besides I'd thought, "oh it's close by; shouldn't be too bad." Of course; a mugger had to be around the corner and right now; I'd rather deal with that crack addict mugger, give him my wallet instead of what was waiting for me in those woods.

    When running for the woods nearby, going through a paved hiking trail I thought nothing of it until the crack addict stepped away from the path. In the back of my mind my thoughts were, "oh he lost interest because I'm too fast for him" ha! Fat chance; they'd I've seen these guys scale buildings for a bit of copper to make a quick buck for their next hit. At first it was silent; no animal noises, no owls loudly having sex which yes I do have to deal with that issue when trying to sleep. As I'd travel through the path, started to reflect on my life choices, mid thought though rustling in the leaves as going by foot; look over to see no one and the rustling in the grass stopped. So I'd shrug this off as, "me being tired" oh boy I'd been wrong.

    So as the path grew narrower which it shouldn't have; the path should've been still the same as before; the only part of the path not closing in on me is that paved path. Every step down the paved path had my stomach twisting in knots. The look at the time to see over an hour passed; this path is only supposed to take at most 30 minutes. The air started to grow cold and started to make haste south. The warm air going from warm and humid to cold and damp; the moon light from above started to be covered by clouds and left with my phone light as I'd look around the surrounding area to think it'd been an animal skull until I'd noticed in the grass was just a deer. A heavy sigh wash over me with continuing on the path. On said path a coyote runs towards me; my life flashing before my eyes until it's steps were running away, every part of me told me to turn back but honestly it's this or the mugger.

    The wet grass started to have other smells stain it; the rustling of the bushes didn't concern me until the loud crack of the brand under somethings footstep. This hadn't been a small twig; the loud, "crack!" Had come from a large tree limb. Then at that point only then I'd start running, my heart pounding in my chest as the light barely revealed what was in the bushes but it's no animal that exist around here nor looks as if it came from nature. The sound of bones cracking; the chomping of flesh with an animal screaming out loud. At that point; did it occur to me after running across the same coyote; the same scar across it's face as the last one, that or a twin. The path not getting me any closer to my goal.

    The sounds of soft soothing whistling come from the direction I'm running after, at this point turning north to sprint for my life, lungs burning, barely able to breath as the sound growing ever so closer. It was foolish to turn back but what other choice was there? The creature revealed by my phone light with it's wolf skull and tall boney body with it's large claws jutting from it's hands like it was forced to have it's claws infused into it's hands, twisted, a Frankenstein beast stitched together by a drunk surgeon.

    The monster smiles to me; it's small white pupils seeing right through me; it's approach was slow, taking it's time and with each step the forest expands away from the paved path and the paved path shrinks to reveal the staircase out of the forest area open to me. The swipe of it's claws at me leaving a gash on my right arm; slipping by the creature to smell sweet freedom; but my heart drops in my chest as the forest grows closer and the path stretches again. The soothing whistling turning into happy whistling as I'd drop to my knees crying out to the sky, howling and beating on the ground. A large branch nearby; gripping it in both hands facing the monster. My teeth clenched and rage flaring up.

    The long arms come down to swing with it's claws stretched out but the branch connects with it's face; as soon as the hit connects the stair case is just right behind me, sweet taste of freedom as the paved path ahead of me leads to concrete stairs and freedom. The kissing of the concrete stairs with my taunting and teasing to the creature with flipping it off but of course; that's not how it ends, unable to leave it's forest, nothing stopping it from teleporting to the wooded areas near me, continuing it's whistling and setting the land to stretch along the forest, pulling on the paved sidewalk like it's pizza dough. Our back and forth not ending so soon so the best thing left was to run on the road; sure enough the road itself too far for the creature to stretch until it popped over to the other side of the forest area, stretching out it's influence to my half; this back and forth with me playing in the street having the creature casually whistle until a cop car speeds on by, going onto the side walk and the cop seeing if I was drunk or not.

    I'd explain to them, "no, no I'm just tired and my car broke down; I'd been working late." Still given a test to see if I'm drunk and offered a ride. The ride in the back of the cop car home having me question if what I'd seen was real or not until the monster teleports every couple feet keeping up with the cop car, almost smiling to me; the cop car going faster.

    The cop mumbles, "I swear it's never this long of a drive." As soon as the cop looks over to what I'm looking at he asks, "what are you looking at?" Sure enough, only then does the creature disappear. Then magically able to get home with no issue.

    I'd snap to answer, "oh I thought I saw an owl is all." He side eyes me, not fully trusting me.

    He tells me, "look; don't work too hard, you know? Work must've been hell for you to look like that." A nod from me, giving a mutual understanding and more ways than one he's right about working too hard. Once dropped off at home to be greeted by my roommate's only to hear the whistling outside; this time bird like but wrong, something mimicking the sound of a robin, then changed to a sound of an owl, the pitch is off, "hoot hoot!" Instead being, "hoot! Huy-oot! Hoot!" Every part of me wants to think I'm crazy and luckily was able to get my brother to drop me off at work but on the way to work it followed me; on my way back from work it's following me.

    Who am I going to tell? The audio comes up normal on my phone when trying to record this thing and trying to take pictures? It doesn't show up; what the hell am I dealing with? My room is the closet to the wooded area and the thing watches me while I'm sleeping; even through the blinds it's peaking into my home! That thing will catch me slipping up one day or another. Oh and my wounds? A simple lie of the animal attacked me on the trail.

    The crack heads nearby? Gone; none to be found which is strange; just one day gone, only their clothes left? I can't be the only one to see this. Trying to bring up missing and dead crackheads to the police? Oh yeah, no that got me laughed at and them not really caring. No way in hell they can't know of this thing, can they? One night, one night of good sleep and not hearing the whistling! Even with playing videos that thing has it's whistling noise pierce the audio from my phone! My computer audio on the other hand, well luckily not yet.

    One of my roommate's got a money tree; at first it was okay but with that thing open to the viewing of the outside of the backyard though? That thing; it'd gotten inside, moving the potted plant. So what did I do? Hurried up and threw it outside of course! That next morning didn't go over well with my roommate however. The other three thought I'd gone insane! Am I just insane? I can't tell anymore; just one night of good sleep please.

    The next swing shift came and I'd finally snapped; driving down to the gas station, buying some gas and finishing this once and for all. I already have matches with me; this thing wants to fight? It wants to tussle then come on I'll show it why I'm not to be fucked with! My car speeding down the highway until I'm just parted off to the side of the bridge; going down into the woods pouring the gas canister onto the trees and getting my match ready as I throw it; setting the forest a blaze. The creature looks to me; disgusted as it tries it's best to take out the fire. It doesn't take long for the fire department to come along and the police as well.

    The creature but not dead; and realizing I shouldn't have done this so close to the police department nor fire department. I was waiting in the forest fire, hoping the flames take me. As I'd explain what happened to the police. They don't believe me at first but then start to see I'm being genuine. For the court trail and everything; it doesn't take long until I'm thrown into the looney bin. After being in there; calmed and medicated at night time I'm seeing the creature sitting outside in the grassy area waiting for me; and he isn't alone. He brought friends.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

The Monster Mask

     The therapist sitting and listen to me bemoan my failures to keep my emotions in check in public and having stimulation issues. You see with my autism I struggle more than most with taste, touch, smells and sounds. I hadn't even taken a step to enter my brother's room one time to be hit by a huge wave of cinnamon with my brother not noticing the smell and realizing my reaction. The shocked reaction from me with realizing him not noticing. These are the more mild issues sadly. As I get done explaining the issues she pulls out a mask from her bag. Now keep in mind; I know this isn't normal and she had only been on my radar due to her hours being cheap and easy to get a hold of.

    Her long orange hair was wild but well washed and seemed to be quite frail and slender. The skin pale as paper. The smile a bit too sharp but this all was shrugged off by me; even with the rusty smell that filled the air around her.

    Her sharp tooth grin as explaining, "this is a masking tool; this will help you with dealing with emotional dysregulations." I'm hesitant at first with taking it.

    I ask, "won't I look silly wearing a mask in public?" She shakes her head. Then putting on the mask with it going from a stage mask to blending in and morphing to her face and skin; looks as if she never put on a mask. Her eating and drinking like it's nothing. Then taking it off, wiping it off and handing it to me.

    At first I'm scared but thinking about my failures and things I've wanted to do.

    She explains, "this will help with your troubles with dating now." At that point I cave, with it getting on my face. It hurt, feeling like hot metal pitch forks digging into my flesh like it's digging into me. Then turns to pleasure and a high like never before. The therapist smiles to me; leading me out the door. At home with the mask, taking it off; which again still hurt like hell and I'm feeling drained, my brain starting to fog. I start brushing my teeth, almost missing my mouth as I do so. It's not hard to imagine something so simple being forgotten but still feels unnerving this is the case.

    Imagine something that anchors down your senses, your sense of self; parts of you. Things you don't notice like dinosaur arms, walking on the heels of your feet and having yourself less stressed by certain smells. At first it's great; why wouldn't it be? At work my flirting and confidence gets around at the office with my boss even getting off my back for once and even not getting talked to about my "attitude" with me just having my resting face being my usual self. It feels good to be treated like another coworker.

    However over time you start to feel a split; a mental disconnect while wearing the mask, each time I've put this thing on; it's been harder and harder to take off. One day I had woken up to the mask being on my face; this shouldn't be alarming to me but the thing is; this was never put on my face while on my days off from work.

    Some part of me thinking, "I've must've forgotten to take this off" which the other deeper part of me knows that'd be a lie to think. Now as of taking it off feels as if nails are being dug into my skin; digging deeper and deeper with pulling it off getting harder. The longer it's remained on my face; the more I'd black out and the more blacking out; the less to remember. The thoughts and feelings that don't feel like me, don't feel like mine. After some time of being in my apartment I decide to go to the bar.

    From there noticing some cute girls nearby; my mask forced prolonged eye contact with people, a little bit too long for my liking, followed by the jokes and quips that come from my mouth as I flirt with women. These movements of mine aren't though; the mask's movements and sly winks to the ladies. However it helped me get someone back to my place; even if I can't remember what was said, what was felt in that moment; it remembers for me at least and live through the memory like a kid watching an R rated movie on the big screen.

    Once she takes her leave I'm alone once again; then later looking in the mirror to see the same tired face underneath that mask, from the front and center is a smiling idiot. The mask speaks, "isn't this new us wonderful!" 

    In my mind shouting back, "this isn't us! This isn't me!"

    It smiles and calmly answers, "oh but it is now!"

    Feral barks from me, "give me back my body!"

    The mask ask, "haven't you been happier with me? More successful in your job? With women as well?"

    At this I'm trothing at the mouth, "it doesn't matter if I'm more successful if I'm not happy! If I'm not me!"

    A sly smile comes across my face and answers back calmly once more, "Oh but who needs to be happy? You weren't seeking happiness, you wanted success in these areas; did you not?" No answer back as the strength is found within me to tear off this mask.

    The mask screaming, begging, "stop! Stop! Stop! You'll kill me! You'll kill what we worked for!" The tears in my eyes as the pain surges through every part of me as if I'd been trying to rip off an arm, going into the kitchen and grabbing a knife; carefully stabbing the mask as it bleeds and trying not to stab myself. However as I'd do so; it's own sharp appendages stab me back with us going blow for blow as finally the mask cracks; shattering with it coming off my face.

    When going back to the therapist office to confront her to find her gone, without a trace. Every time I'd dream; from time to time I'd see that same mask, a part of sees a small white mask piece left on my face but that could just be my imagination.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

This is Not my Friend

      You may think I'm crazy but I know I'm not. It started with a simple phone call; a slip of the voice, a change of tone, inflection being a bit off but could just be brushed off, "hey Edward I need some help here!" The heavy breathing on their side.

    A roll of my eyes followed by a sigh, "Jude, what did you get yourself in trouble with this time?"

    He pleads, "come on you owe me! Please after this you won't owe me anymore!" You may seem surprised but I've gotten myself in quite a bit of trouble with the scraps I've found myself in; diving in fist a swinging and a temper a raging as it were. Always putting someone on the back foot. My buddy pulled connections with a cop buddy to help me out in a pinch a few times I must admit and to ignore his cries for my help feel disrespectful. So I got my ass out of bed and got into my truck to meet him.

    I'd ask, "text me the directions to where you need me to be." The directions I was given was to an old abandoned factory that had multiple trucks coming in and out delivering something on the daily back in the day; this was decades ago, nothing about this place would scream, "hey cult stuff and demons!" out to me like his usual targets. 

    I shouldn’t have let my guard down. Jude had been obsessing over a spirit he described as zombie-like—one that infects whoever it touches, twisting their mind until they glimpse something beyond death. Most of his stories ended mid-ritual, cut off by frightened witnesses or dubious evidence. I admit, I never took him fully seriously.

By the time I found his car abandoned near the factory gate, unease settled in my chest. My first thought: the engine died. My second: he’s in trouble.

Then my phone buzzed.

“turn off your lights!”

It was the same two commands he always used—turn off your lights, get your ass over here—only now they felt urgent, almost panicked. He’d never needed me like this before.

    To give some background info on him; Jude is an independent journalist after his boss wouldn't pay him to look into the occult and other things going on. He stalked, spied and reported on ceremonies dedicated to summoning demons. He's always had a knack for finding trouble and getting the help he needed for getting out of said trouble. The only reason he'd call me; is if he needed me to scrap. In no time flat; I'd climb the barb wired fence; it's quite easy, wrap a blanket or towel thick enough layers around it to jump over the other side and boom; easy as that. 

    On the other side, something felt off. The light beam coming from someone but it didn't feel human with how it moved towards me; as it got closer it looked like my friend from a distance but as it got closer; it looked wrong. At first I'd tried hiding which due to my stature and size that wasn't very effective. It didn't take long for it to close the distance on me. So since flight wasn't a choice, a singular punch into the jaw of the monster only to feel like I'm punching concrete. The recoil from the pain as it goes to swipe at me; it's claws extending on each swipe as I'm bobbing and weaving between slashes. It doesn't take much to trip it at least; giving me enough time to run.

    The rage boiling up inside of me, having to run like a coward and not go down swinging but right now; my friend was on my mind first and foremost. As I'd search the ruins to find no one. Until a whisper could be heard, "hey; come here!" I'd found him; a corrupted twisted form of him. His body looking muscular, pulsing and broken. That through the monster flesh; the bubbling black flesh I can recognize it's my friend, it's Jude.

    Jude coughing, "Jackass; what are you doing here?" A huge relief washes over me as I hug him, his black flesh feeling hot and sticky; also smelling like a rotting corpse. He coughs, "don't get cut by me; that thing cut me and look at me." To this I'm shaking my head.

    I assure him, "we'll get you medical help; come on don't worry man we will get you help." A meek smile on his face, I'm dragging him over my shoulder, carefully slipping by the monster as it's trying to use the flash light to the best of it's ability on the phone setting. The creature gets an idea then starts to call my phone. It didn't take me long to book it, getting my friend over the fence and then myself. On the other side; getting him into my car. We drive out of there. I take him to the hospital, with them trying to their best to deal with and take care of him. When given the chance I'm visiting his room; we go over the time we spent together, when we met each other when playing soccer when we were kids, the fact he was the reason why I even met my girlfriend in the first place. Us going on adventures together for better or for the worse.

    The two of us talking, I'm escorted out by a nurse. As I am men in hazmat suits swarm his room. I've put two and two together; getting myself ready to scrap. One went down easy but the guards nearby they brought with them; well didn't take long for them to start beating my ribcage and my face until I started bleeding. They drag us both away. The US government of course. In an interrogation room they have many needles, wires, pliers, saws, if it hurts and keeps me alive; you name it. To the best of my ability I've given them all the info I've known but that doesn't stop them from torturing me.

    To them; I'm hiding something, to them I'm no different from the cultist they hunted. Of all the times I've gotten myself into this mess. One beating after another; being fed through where the sun don't shine. Every step of the way I'd fought them and eventually antagonize them just for the fun of it; them trying to break my spirit. Of course a guy with glasses comes in one day; giving them info and the person torturing me has their face go white.

    He apologizes oddly enough, "I'm so sorry; we got the wrong guy."

    I spit out blood only to ask, "where is Jude?" 

    He looks away, "he is dying; he started to enter a feral state and we strapped him down to a table." It didn't take long for me to push past him, running towards the noises where I could hear a half human half monster sound; sounding like my friend is begging and pleading through gags of pain only to see him fully turn, trying to swipe at scientist and shocked to be put back to rest. The guards tackle me but the nearby people take them off of me.

    You maybe wondering how and why I'm able to tell you this. Well for one I don't have much to live for; as you can imagine torture doesn't do good for the human life span and the drugs they put in your body to experiment on you since you're considered an enemy of the state. Furthermore; I'm a mad man, my ramblings and ideas mean nothing to them. The day they do; is the day I'm put down like a dog and this post goes offline.

    I mean honestly how many bad actors were revealed as an open secret only to later find out there was more missing info and context? You maybe asking me to provide more details; people, places and names but the truth is; in that place while being flayed my mind started to forget things. I can't tell if it's the drugs or the fact torture ruins your ability to remember info; not enhance it.

    With me being a free man at least; I got a settlement that I don't want to brag how much I got but let's just say; it's an insane amount for what I had to go through. That being said; I'd rather not have been tortured, I can't even sleep without having ptsd because of it. As I stay up at my computer typing away I find something strange.

    What's strange; is I can hear something with my voice calling out to me.